It is unreal how swiftly and deftly God can move through your life.
He has been present and active in my life in the strangest ways this week. He moved in quickly, and with such precision, such accuracy. He got right down to the heart of things.
To begin: Sunday morning, I had to work at American Eagle. When I got off around 1 pm, I checked my phone for messages. My dad left me a voice mail asking me to call him before I left from work. I figured he needed me to pick up something from the mall before coming home, so I called to find out what he needed.
What he actually needed was for me to meet him at the vet hospital. For those of you who don't know this, my dog Scout is very special to me. I could say a lot more, but suffice it to say that I would be pretty shaken up if she died, especially right now. Anyways, it turned out that my dad had accidentally dropped an open bag of dark chocolate chips while cleaning out the pantry, and after forgetting to pick them up, Scout, well... got high. Chocolate is like speed for dogs, and being that she weighs about 7 pounds, it can be fatal for her. My stepmom, Kathy, realized what had happened, and she and my dad rushed Scout to the vet clinic. They induced vomiting, but because she had eaten about 4 ounces (which is around 4 times the fatal dose), they recommended that she be kept there overnight for treatment. It would cost umm... a lot more than I could afford. But my dad stepped in and paid the cost for me.
My dad is a very kind, compassionate, and caring man. But when it comes to animals, he's a country boy at heart. He enjoys having a good dog around the house, but he has never been one to put a lot of time (and certainly not a lot of money) into a pet. I would have never expected him to pay for my dog's veterinary costs. But as he hugged me outside the clinic, he just said, "I understand what Scout means to you." Many, many times, I have felt misunderstood by my dad. And I'm sure he has felt the same about me. But at that moment, I knew that my father truly understood at least that part of me. At that moment, I could feel the love of God flowing through my dad to me.
In addition: I recently started working with this little book that some awesome people I went to church with in Abilene recommended to me--the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook. (Yeah, I know, awful title. But give it a chance!) It addresses a slew of practices that the author labels as "spiritual disciplines," many of which are not considered "traditional," and whilst reading through the laundry list, I made note of a few that I felt compelled to try and implement in my life. But somehow, I ended in a section called, "Practicing the Presence." This discipline is meant to draw one deeper into the presence of God, to make one more privy to God's presence in the minute details of a day. One of the scriptures listed in this section is Colossians 3:3-4 (taken from The Message): "Your new life, which is your real life--even though invisible to spectators--is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too--the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ."
With all of the discontentedness I've been feeling lately, I know that God meant for me to read that scripture. It became so clear to me why God has placed me here. Okay, maybe clear isn't exactly the right word for it! Because I don't know if anything is ever clear while one is living in the midst of it. But I do know this: I have wanted something for quite some time now, and even though I want it out of the goodness of my heart, that doesn't mean that I'm entitled to it. I want to be out there, in the schools, reaching out to young people. And I want a lot of other things. But first and foremost, I want to start my career so that I can start my life. But God showed me that my life has already started. It started years ago when I gave it up to Christ. Now that its his, I should be content with whatever it is he asks of me and wherever it is that he takes me. I'm not saying that I went from feeling discontent to content overnight--I know it will take time and prayer--but I am saying that I understand my father a little bit more, and I know that he understands me.
To finish: I watched the national championship football game tonight (is that supposed to be captialized? I'm sure the college football purists among you can say). At the end, when the field became an interview stage for all of the sports correspondents to get their sound bytes, Colt McCoy (the Texas quarterback) made a touching comment. Now, allow me to put this into perspective before I continue. I'm not really that into football. I know who Colt McCoy is, and a few other players on the UT team, but I wouldn't call myself a fan. I didn't follow their season, or anyone elses, for that matter. What I'm trying to say here is this: don't disregard what I'm fixing to say because you might think that I'm biased. Anyhow, the losing quarterback, who was taken out of his last football game as a Longhorn player due to an injury, congratulated the winning team, and said that at the end of the day, he knows that God is in control of his life, and he is thankful to be standing on the rock.
So after hearing that, I got curious about him and looked him up on Wikipedia. Because that's what you do with anything you're curious about these days. And under "Personal Life," there was a mention of a video that he made for something called, "I Am Second." So I Googled that. It took me a few minutes to figure out what it is. Its basically a website with video testimonials from several people about their relationships with God. The whole idea behind it is that we are all second, and Christ is first. Growing up in the church and all, I've found myself to be kind of (I hate to admit it) quick to judge this sort of thing. But these really intrigued me. I realized that they weren't only done by sports stars or celebrities, which has me more convinced that this particular group is pretty legit.
Anyhow, I watched the video done by Tony Dungy, and holy smokes, it was like God was speaking directly to me. I mean, who knew that God's voice sounds like Tony Dungy's? I kid.. :) He was talking about the dissappointment he felt after being fired as head coach of Tampa Bay. He said, "That's one of the hardest things in life, when you have an idea of how things are going to go, what you hope for, what you dream about, what you pray for, and it doesn't come through. That's when its easy to be dissappointed with God. I had to realize that it worked out. It just didn't work out the way I had planned."
I've heard so many people say something like that. But tonight was the first time that I really understood the weight of it. I think its because I felt like he validated my heartbreak.
God's presence has been all around me. From my chocolate puppy, to Colossians, to Tony Dungy, he has been revealing himself to me. Praise be to him.
ps. You should check this out for a minute or two: I Am Second
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