First Night

This isn't a new poem. I haven't been writing poetry lately. But I have been thinking about India a lot lately, after seeing Slumdog Millionaire, and now that I'm reading a book about India. So I thought I'd share this. I wrote this last semester. During my trip to India, and even soon after, I tried to write poetry about it, but all of it was terrible. It was too cliche and trite. I think I had to be removed from the experience for a while before I could write about it.

First Night
“See Mumbai the beautiful with this map being helpful!”
- from a tourist map

The Hotel Grant is crumbling
on your first night in Mumbai.
The taxi wallah kept your change,
but you don’t know that yet.
It will be weeks before you understand
the exchange rate, the way things work
here, where the chai does not come iced
or sweet, and the rickshaws crowd
even your sleep.

On your first night in Mumbai,
you weep in the shower, beat
your fists against the geyser, and repeat:
“It’s not bad, just different.
Not bad, just different.”
Not bad like the curry that scorches your tongue,
or the deadly stench of fish
and leprous beggars, or the Delhi Belly
that ravages your body nightly.
Not bad like the mattresses,
as flat as the nasal voices of Bollywood
actresses, or the assaulting scent
of Ganapati flowers, and the popping
of skulls on funeral pyres
on your first night in Mumbai.

You don’t know this yet,
but on your last night in Mumbai,
you will cry because you know
how you will miss
fairytale elephants in the street,
naan dripping with ghee,
the barefoot children who greeted
you with happy Namastes,
brilliant saris and sparkling bhindis,
tablas and finger cymbals, all of it
dancing with you on the trains
on your first night in Mumbai.

Just a little freak out...

This post isn't any sort of creative writing. Its just me writing about my life. I'm feeling pretty frustrated right now, kind of like I'm flailing in the pool with just enough swim-knowledge to keep myself afloat, but not enough to get to the other side. The semesters until graduation have finally become months, and the months are now starting to become weeks. In case you don't already know, I decided a few months ago that I will move to Chicago. I'm super excited about this, albeit, pretty intimidated by the prospect of blizzards, frozen sidewalks, and traveling on foot through said conditions. But that's okay. I'll adapt. Everyone does, eventually. Right?

No, no. What's really got me imagining how pleasant an extra semester in Abilene could, in fact be, is this task of finding a job. There should be a class for this sort of thing that all graduating seniors are required to take. During your first semester at ACU, you are required to take a one-hour credit course referred to as the University Seminar, or U100. Its primary reason is to orient you with life as a college student. Most of us hated this class. I hated this class. But now, I'm wishing I could take a Real Life Seminar, or U400. During class meetings, we would discuss job-finding strategies, help each other write resumes, role-play in preparation for interviews, and so on. Sometimes, its pretty hard to find time in your schedule to do these time consuming things when facing the other demands of life as a graduating senior. And I'm not even one of those who are planning a wedding! You can tell that I've thought about this quite a bit. I could probably teach the class. That is, I could if I knew how to do all of that.

Anyhow, not only is finding a job a seemingly insurmountable task (I know that, in reality, it isn't. I know that after my first two jobs or so, finding a job will be just like any other thing I used to think I'd never figure out. Like cursive), deciding what kind of job I want to look for is a frightening challenge in itself. I've thought about several different sorts of things. Teaching, editing, publishing, media writing, dancing on bar counters (okay, that last one is a joke. Sort of). Some of these sound more appealing than others to me. But, as it turns out, I'm not particularly qualified for any of them. Nobody wants an English major graduating with only a bachelor's and no work experience in their field. Don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed being an English major, but unless you're going to graduate school or combining the major with another more marketable major, its worthless. But hey! If you've got a book you need read, send it my way! Why didn't someone stop me?!?! Oh, I'm sure I wouldn't have listened to you anyways.

All of that being said, there are a few rays of sunshine in the future of my employment. I hear back from Teach for America next week. Honestly, I'm still not positive that I want to work for TFA, but I am more positive about it than doubtful, so that's a good thing. I've also re-discovered non-profits, such as the Inspiration Cafe in Chicago, who I would love to work with. The only problem with non-profits is that they're usually small and don't hire very often. But if you know of any who are hiring, let me know!

Also, after a recent trip with Seekers to the juvenile detention center in Brownwood, I'm excited about the possibility of working for a detention center. Detention centers are in need of teachers, counselors, and other jobs of this type. After the poet Liza Jessie Peterson visited our campus and told us about working as a teacher of sorts in a detention center, I felt really inspired to find a similar career path. So, I've started talking with the chaplain at the center in Brownwood, and will hopefully start volunteering out there pretty soon. She said I can attend any of the activities they already have scheduled, or can meet one-on-one as a mentor, or even work with her to start my own program. Imagine how cool it would be if I were able to teach a writing workshop?! That is what I would really hope to do if I were employed by a juvenile detention center - to teach students about writing prose and poetry for therapeutic purposes. I'm trying not to get my hopes us too high about that, though. It is already March, and I graduate in May. I'm sure it would take a while to get something like that going. Still, the thought is really exciting!

I know most of you who may be reading this have probably already heard me rant about this countless times, and if you've actually read this the whole way through, I'm touched! I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need direction, and I'm open to suggestions. So if you have any, I would be thankful to hear them!